The Official Clive Barker Resource - Revelations

OK, we're definitely on a roll here - three giveaways completed in three months!
With a closing date of 31 December 2007, we asked for captions for the six photos below. The prize? In celebration of the 20th anniversary limited edition re-release of Clive's seminal work, The Hellbound Heart, a copy of the ultra-rare advance proof state of the book for each winner, generously donated for lucky Revelations readers by Earthling!
The new edition features not one, but two introductions, courtesy of Pete Atkins and Ashley Laurence along with Clive's early Cenobite illustrations and, for the first time anywhere, a facsimile of the opening pages of the final, author-corrected typescript of the novella!

We've had a deluge of entries which have taken us more than a day to read through, consider, shortlist and then finally use our warped senses of humour to decide on winners... If you're one of those winners, congratulations - and check your in-boxes because we've already been in touch. For everyone else - our thanks for all the entries, sorry we didn't choose you this time but please look out for our next competition!
...So, with thanks to Paul Miller at Earthling Publications, here are the captions that made the two of us chuckle most...

Photo 1
"If he sticks that paintbrush any further down my dress, he'll need more than a puzzle-box to save him..."

Photo 2
Director: "No, no, cut! How many more times? I said I want anguish from you as the CGI takes out your throat! Take 54... And honestly, if you don't get it this time, I'm dropping you from the movie completely."

Photo 3
Elton John learns the hard way not to take any of Amy Winehouse's cigarettes without permission.

Photo 4
Nigel’s self-designed bookplates had begun to worry his parents.

Photo 5
Joint winners on this one, as we couldn't agree!
Church employee: "I don't care WHAT the calendar says, sir. Bingo is on THURSDAYS. Services are today."
Doug Bradley: "I swear this will be the last Hellraiser film if you can' t get it right... I want a tall upside down mocha venti triple shot espresso a la mode, friendo!"

Photo 6
"Man, I'm tellin' ya, this Jericho expansion pack has kept me playing for weeks and it's damn near blown my mind!"

And don't forget to visit
Earthling Publications
for more details on the anniversary edition of the book and to pre-order a copy of the finished hardback release!

The Continuing Return Of The Great Revelations Giveaway...!